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Day 165: Remembering to Be Thankful

I've been in a funk the past few days, probably from feeling overwhelmed and spread too thin. I love to be busy. I have to have something to do. But feeling overextended is another matter all together.

It reached the point where I decided I was the only person in the world to have so much on her plate. This, of course, made me feel justified in being short with the kids, irritated with my husband, and generally not a very nice person to be around.

It seemed to all come to a head today. We spent the better part of the afternoon driving around looking for a product that I desperately needed for a project planned the kid's homeschool charter tomorrow, and no one seemed to carry it anymore.

Emails had not been checked, several phone calls needed to be returned, a deadline loomed over my head. Don't even ask about the house. Part of me was dreading getting back home to a place that looked like it had been hit by an atom bomb. And oh, by the way, Mom, I have baseball practice tonight, what's for dinner?

After baseball practice and dinner, after the most pressing deadlines were met, after a few emails and calls were returned, I realized it was nine o'clock and the evening barn chores still needed doing.

It was the first really clear night that we've had for a while, the type of clear sky that only cold air can bring. After feeding the animals their dinner, putting the pony in her stall for the night, and doing a quick bed-and-egg-check on the chickens, I turned off my little Coleman lantern and stood there in the quiet darkness. The stars were amazing.

How ungrateful I had been! (And how much I still have to learn.) I'm living the life I had always dreamed of having, but I wasn't enjoying it as I should. Sometimes it takes a still moment to remind yourself to be thankful. And I am.

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